Shambled
by blueguacamole
Summary: Law accidentally swapped his body with Bonney's and now he's stuck with Kid for the time being. Sorry for bad summary. KidLaw
1. Chapter 1

**First of all, I haven't been on here for so long so hello again everyone. I had a surgery because I found a weird lump in my chest but I'm fine now and I had been studying for the SAT. Please except this crappy fic as an apology from me. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do writing it. Love you guys heaps and heaps! Please let me know what you think.**

*Every character belongs to the genius, Oda sensei.

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"Don't you think she is hot? Look at that body!" the redhead whispered. Given the way Kid and Law conversed, one would have thought they were best friends who were talking about such typical matter guys normally converged about: hot girl. There was nothing normal about the situation then, especially the circumstance afterward. The supernovas were having lunch together at the best restaurant in Sabaody Archipelago according to Bonney. But it was impossible to tell if the best meant quality or the ability to provide food fast enough that she wouldn't have to stop what her forte was. It was a week after Whitebeard's death and so everyone was discussing the event ebulliently. They were so chirpy even though they knew that deep down, everyone was wary of each other. Killer was the one who arranged the meeting and the chairs, which no one sat on given the excitement and clamor. The only reticent one there was Basil Hawkins, mumbling to his precious card; X Drake observed this with fascination while chatting with Urouge. No other customer was there, given that no one wants to risk their life, being in the same room with the scandalous pirates, and with such high bounties! Still, even if the civilian were there, there wouldn't be any food left for them; Jewelry Bonney ate it all, including the food for other supernovas. Everyone secretly felt lucky that the Strawhat Luffy wasn't there; they all heard rumor how that boy could consume chunks of meat in a blink of the eyes and it appeared one crazy eater was more than enough at the moment. Speaking of the woman, Law was a bit surprised how Bonney's crews were not present. If he were them, he would be. Judging from the way she ate, someone needed to teach her how to chew properly or else she would die in a pathetic death with chunks and bits of Roger-knows-what in her bronchia. Law felt somewhat sorry for the pinkhead digestive system and later, a lot more for himself.

"Umm no, the way she consumes food is so vulgar. She's such a glutton not to mention that tastelessly pink hair," Law replied back, "Where are you taking off to after this affair is over?" Law asked, trying to change the subject as the current one made him felt strangely uncomfortable for no reason.

"Do you think I will have a chance?" Kid inquired, completely ignored Law's earlier question. Not waiting to hear the answer, he headed confidently toward Bonney, leaving the poor surgeon behind.

"Eus-," Law called after him then snapped his mouth shut. He sighed and turned around to leave with his head down.

The tall figure of Kid stood in front of the hefty eater lithe one, "I have got lot of food an-,"

Unfortunately, Law's curiosity got better of him and before he knew it, he had turned around; his deep grey eyes observed a gruesome scene in front of him. Law watched in horror as Jewelry Bonney previously amethyst eyes literally expanded into glittery hearts, "Yes, yes, YESSSSS!"

"Room. Shambles."

In a split second, Law did thing he wouldn't normally have done. It was so reckless and very unlike him. Who knew? The calculated old him must had fled the moment those hearts appeared. So much for being a captain of the Heart Pirates. He couldn't find any reason why he did it, swapping his heart with Bonney's that was.

That's when Kid's sensible first mate, Killer, interrupted, "We don't have food, not even someone who knows how to cook well."

The room felt silent so timely and before everyone realized what had happened, Bonney, whose eyes had turned back to the usual grey, carried all the food on the table and ran out of the seafood restaurant in a speed of light which came as a surprise given how much she had eaten.

"I have no idea Trafalgar Law loves clams so much," Capone spoke in wonder.

_What have I done?_

Trafalgar Law sat dumbstruck with a baffled expression on his handsome face.

_I've even got boobs._

It appeared no one noticed when he swapped body with Bonney so they starred to see if Bonney would protest due to lack of food but when she didn't they all started talking once more.

"So, will you go out with me?" Kid asked.

"Ye-, I mean, NO!"

"Trafalgar LAW?" Kid asked, his eyes widened slightly. The surgeon rushed out of the room to find the pinkhead, followed by an excited crowd of supernovas who had just realized what really happened. No one heard the soft voice of the crying manager, timidly telling them to pay before they left. The poor guy ran to the deck where his yellow submarine was only to find that his vehicle had vanished.

Kid strolled after Law and only caught few words Law was cussing. But given the small hiss the smaller man was emitting he couldn't catch whether it was baka or nakama. Though the former seemed more likely given the situation.

"It is bound to happen, " Hawkins muttered to his precious cards, "It has ninety-four percent chance after all."


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello guys, I hope you have a great day today!**

**Ace Portgas D** I hope you like this chapter!

**WolfirePrincess** Yaoi for life! *fist bump*

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"So here we have Kid, the Massacre Soldier, Hawkins , Apoo, Capone Bege, Urouge, the pinkhe- I mean Trafalgar Law and me," Drake said to himself while taking notes with ballpoint pen on his black, leather bound notebook.

"I've just noticed we are on the first name term now," Apoo spoke somberly.

No one was that serious in helping Trafalgar Law got his body back but it was such an interesting event that everyone decided to help, not that they were very helpful.

"Why don't you go and pretend to be the girl for a while? Her stupid crews won't notice!" Urouge laughed heartily.

"Jewelry Bonney crew will definitely know I'm not their real captain!" An hour ago, the Bonney pirates came to the restaurant with sky high piles of pizza. Seriously? He couldn't even finish two box by himself! So he made some unconvincing excuses and surprisingly got away.

"A few of us are going to look for her. I think you may want to stay with other pirates for now," Drake said, "All the captains are boarding my ship except Kid and Hawkins. We are leaving our crews here," he informed, "Not that I think we could find her." The last remark was addressed to himself rather than to the others.

"Let's find a hotel," Kid suggested, "I don't think any of you will want to stay on the ship, do you?"

They later settled for a suite: three clean bedrooms, a living room, a bathroom and a small kitchen.

"Honeymoon suite?" Law asked suspiciously.

"For once, I whole heartily agree with you, Trafalgar," Kid glared at Killer.

"I think it will be better if we form an alliance and stick together for a while. Given the capricious circumstance about at the moment," Killer stated matter-of-factly.

Law had gathered Bonney's belongings from the ship. It was a nightmare. They were suspicious when he told them the reason he would say at the hotel was because he had got a crush on one of the supernova and wished to get to know him more. That was the worst excuse possible. At least it was not Law's reputation so he complied halfheartedly.

When they asked him who was that supernova he simply stammered, "Capo..Capone!"

"That pimp? Captain! What a strange taste in men you have!" Before Law could excuse himself, the realization came over that crew member face, "Aren't that daddy guy leaving with X Dr-"

"I really should get going!"

_I should have turned them into babies._

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If they had more sense, they would have noticed that their captain voice wasn't supposed to sound so manly. But it didn't really matter, they already got a brain of babies.

Later that night, he came out of the bathroom, face flushed. Kid took a look at him with a sly smile on his face. Law was wearing an old t-shirt with pink shorts. Since the closet was full of something that was either too revealing, made him feel exposed, or worse, girly.

"I request you to stop looking at me like that,"

"You look hot, Trafalgar, I couldn't help myself. How does it feel, having your very own boobs?" Kid asked with pure curiosity.

Given the candid question, Law repressed the urge to flip him off and answered calmly, "I don't think you get turned on, looking at your dick, do you?"

"But I get turned on, touching mine," Kid added slyly, "What have you done to her body, given that you came out of the shower brushing?"

"I just washed myself, nothing more!" Law said way too quickly.

"Yea, right." Kid nodded solemnly.

"Fuck you, Eustass-ya," Law finally had to give Kid the finger after a failed attempt of trying to stop himself.

"Someday, you will want to. Good night," Kid joked before he went into the bedroom he shared with Killer, the pillow Law threw missed him by merely an inch.

Law just sat there with nothing in particular to do, pondering about the event. He then decided to list it out.

My fucked up situation:  
1) My behavior resembles that of a female. Not only the way I act, but also the way I think. May be related to Estrogens/Androgens?  
2) I don't know how work this Devil Fruit ability?  
3) Eustass Kid wants to bang me

He was thinking of adding more when the front door creaked open and Hawkins walked in.

"Where have you been?" Law started a conversation, having nothing better to do.

"It is that time of the month," the Mage replied with a straight face.

"That time of the month?" Law took another look at Hawkins and there was no mistaking it. That abs couldn't belong to a girl despite the blonde's silky long hair. The Surgeon of Death shook his head violently, tried to rid himself of such idiotic thought but only succeeded in making himself dizzy.

_Could this day get any worse?_

"Fate has bound you to help me."

That's when Law saw it, bales and bales of straw were dragged into the room. _No, they looked more like they had will and moved on their own. Strange._

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"I think I'll just go to bed," Law whispered and quickly moved to open his door only to find that it was locked. He had forgotten the key inside.

_Shit. Why must I be so oblivious tonight?_

"As I said, it is bound to happen," The blonde said with a straight face, pulling the curtain and windows open, "When something has ninety percent or more, it usually happens accordingly. Let's get start. First, you separate the straw like this," he detached it exuberantly, causing the hay to fly everywhere. Law sneezed all night long, producing wonderful voodoo dolls while the Hawkins preached the instructions and incantations over and over.

It was one hell of a hectic day for Trafalgar Law.

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**Please let me know what you think so I can fix my mistakes and whether I should continue or not ^_^**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews guys! Here is chapter 3 for you amazing people! 3**

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The door shuddered so hard Law thought it would snapped in half, "Trafalgar Law, you have been there for almost an hour now. I wouldn't have bothered you if I don't have this strong urge to shit," complained Kid.

So Mother Nature paid her monthly visit to the unprepared Law. He had been suspecting this for a while but it was still so sudden that he was taken off guard. To tell the truth, he had been so busy he forgot all about it. Unfortunately, he was stuck in the room with Eustass Kid while the ever present Basil Hawkins went he knew not where. Law was not close to the man but it would have been less embarrassing to ask Hawkins for help. Given the situation, the surgeon decided the blonde wouldn't be back for hours to come so he swallowed and said, "Eustass-ya? I would like to ask you a favor,"

"Yea?"

"It is that time of of the month"

"TEME!" Kid banged in the door some more before saying, "You clogged the toilet? That's disgusting! Just wait til Hawkins hears about this! I can't wait anymore I will just go shit somewhere else."

That sure wasn't the reaction Law expected. This was no going the way he planned at all.

"NO, no, no! I mean, Tom is in town," Law tried to explain.

_Does anyone even use this anymore?_

"Tom who? Is that a plumber?" Kid asked, even more confused than ever.

"I'm on my monthly, no, no! This has never happened before. Hmm.."

"Your monthly what? What the hell are you talking about? Oh! I got it now. So you basically get constipation once a month and it was so bad you clog the toilet on monthly basis."

_Stupid stupid, stupid Eustass_

"I'm on my period," Law whispered.

"I can't hear you. Why don't you just come out and talk?"

"Stupid, deaf idiot!"

Too bad Kid happened to hear that phrase perfectly.

"Come out!" Kid pounded his fist on the door one more time and it fell down just at the same time Law shouted.

"I'm on my PERIOD!" Law said defiantly, "Happy now?"

Kid was stunned for a whole minute gazing at poor Trafalgar who was seated on the toilet seat really looking like he was trying to get the shit to come out.

"So you want me to buy you those spongy stuffs," Kid spoke more to himself

"Yes"

"But I don't know how," Kid whined, "This is embarrassing; I don't want to do this!"

"Just go," Law said coldly.

And so the dazed Kid left.

The minutes ticked by slowly. After what felt like a century, the fluttered Kid arrived with variety packages of tampons.

"I'm so not using this," Law said when Kid who suddenly found the tile on the wall interesting handed him the shopping bag.

"Just use it," Kid ordered, very much irritated by then.

"But it was scary. I am afraid it would hurt," Law whispered. The truth was he didn't want to stick anything up his vag. It was not technically his, but still. He knew Eustass had a soft spot this little trick. He tried widening his eyes to make them seemed innocent but it deemed fruitless given that the redhead didn't even look his way.

There were few seconds of silence before Kid cleared his throat and finally said, "Alright, alright, but just this once."

Law heard the front door slammed shut and sighed in relieve.

Kid came back half an hour later.

When Law finally came out, face flushed from the bathroom, he asked, "What took you so long?"

Kid simply answered, "You own me one, Trafalgar," and spoke no more of that matter.

"Yea," Law then noticed a dozen of potato chips, two cans of cola and quite a few bottles of dishwasher detergent even though they didn't have one to begin with. He doubted if Kid truly needed half the stuffs he bought.

That's when Killer came in and just before Law could say anything, Kid told Killer all about the embarrassing event. "Trafalgar could just turn himself younger and that would have solved all the problem," Killer took off his mask, letting the blonde curls fell over his eyes. "After all, mastering your new power is what has been keeping you busy, isn't it?

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**I do hope that went okay..**


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